I’m sure you’re familiar with the phrase “Friends come and go like the seasons” or “Some friends are only in your life for a reason and some for a season”. Today, I’m going to reflect on these two phrases, with a twist. My best friend had to give me a hard truth, that sometimes you have friends that shift in and out of your life according to the season you’re in. When she said it, at first it made me sad but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. This doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re losing friendships completely, it means that some friends may take a step back and others may take a step forward. It’s a shift that is happening and that is perfectly okay. Sometimes when we go through situations there’s only going to be a couple of people that will really understand and be there for you. These other friends may not be able to support you at that time the way you may need but remember, that’s okay. They could have other things going on in their personal life or they may not be able to pick up on what you are currently experiencing.
Shift is defined, “to change the place, position, or direction of.” So, this means that some of my friends have changed positions, or you could say they’ve rotated. For example, I can remember exactly who among my friends rotated to the forefront during my season of isolation, right after I lost my job (link blog post). I think it’s important that we pay attention to which friends are shifting to the forefront of the season we may be facing. There’s a high chance that in the future, as another season or similar situation arises you can call on them again for advice or perspective. That’s exactly what I did, and what I’m currently doing.
At the beginning of this post I said that when my friend told me about the shifting of friends it initially made me sad … Let me explain why – I take friendships VERY seriously, sometimes too seriously, and the thought of one of my friends completely shifting out of my life didn’t sit well with me. I care and love extremely hard, and oftentimes I expect the same in return. I understand that this expectation is not fair, because unfortunately everyone is not able to reciprocate love in the same way. That’s also another conversation for another day. But, I’m pretty sure if they were able to reciprocate those feelings verbatim it would feel almost robotic and predictable. Who wants predictability? I don’t think I do. I also think at times I often expect my friends to all be there for me at all times – again not fair and very far-fetched. It’s impossible for friends to be there for us 100% of the time. We also have to be considerate of the fact that they probably have their own issues going on in their life. So, here’s where the gentle reminder of grace comes in again, not for me but to extend it to my friends.
If you take a moment to sit back and reflect on the things you’ve gone through wouldn’t you be able to recall exactly which friend(s) were there at the forefront for you? It wasn’t all of your friends, but there were a couple in particular. Then, it shifted – something else happened in your life and a couple different friends rotated to the forefront and were there for you. Again, I’m learning that not everybody can provide the insight and perspective that you may need during a particular season. Not because they wouldn’t want to, but because it may not be something they are called to do. I believe that God is also intentional in this way, that He aids in the shifting of people around in your life that will be able to handle the season He is about to put you in. He knows exactly what friends will encourage you, pray for you, and help guide you through it.
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