You know that prayer that people often talk about, that if you pray it don’t be surprised when God answers it (Honestly, it’s a bunch of prayers that are considered “Dangerous Prayers”, not because they are literally dangerous, but I think dangerous in the spirit because God will give you what you ask for, he is not a God who shys away from revealing the truth). So this particular prayer I’m talking about says, “God show me, me.” - 4 simple words. And yes sometimes God will do just that, show us … us to us, and then there are times when he’ll show us, us, through other people.
I’ve always heard people who are parents and have been parents before me say that they see themselves in their children. The behaviors, the mannerisms, attitudes, and everything else in between! I didn’t quite understand it or really believe it until I had my own children. Specifically, my firstborn, Tristan, and good grief do I see myself ALL THE WAY IN HIM! 😬
Let me also say, that I had this perception that I’d only see myself in my kid if I had a girl because she’d be like a “mini” version of myself. However, I have also noticed as an adult, I’ve picked up certain mannerisms, traits, etc. from my mom AND my dad. So it’s not foreign for this mirror to apply to moms and dads who have boys and girls, therefore we shouldn’t box it in as such. That’s like trying to box God in, we can’t, it’s impossible because God will choose who, what, and how he wants to reveal.
So yeah, I’ve actually prayed that prayer, “God show me, me.”, quite a few times and I believe God answered that prayer … multiple times … by way of my son lol! And it’s amazing honestly, the parallels between a child and parent, especially when you see those behaviors, attitudes, and mannerisms from a child and you’re like, “Oh snap, I actually do that as an adult now.” There are even certain things that I will see Tristan do and I’ll ask my mom, like uh did I do that as a child and of course, her answer is usually yes.
I often find myself getting frustrated with Tristan when he doesn’t listen, or if he’s being impatient about something, or even when he gets too excited. In those moments I feel like God is telling me that I’m the same way when it comes to him and the things he has asked me to do or is trying to do within me. He probably gets frustrated or just shakes his head at me when I don’t listen or if I’m trying to speed something up or speed Him up. I also feel like God is telling me, that you (Tenia) not only get frustrated, etc. with Tristan, but you also get frustrated with yourself, you’re impatient with yourself. So I think too, that the frustration that I feel with Tristan is just me staring at myself in the mirror (and yes, I do also think Tristan looks like me LITERALLY! 😂) and being even the more frustrated.
I do my hardest in trying to extend grace to Tristan, you know because he is just a toddler and he’s still learning. And in that same breath, I don’t even know how to give my own self grace, I often struggle with even walking in that grace even that God gives us, because truth be told, I feel unworthy and that I don’t deserve it. “It’s not enough grace to go around!” But that’s a lie of the enemy that needs to be dismantled because grace indeed does abound - grace upon grace.
My impatience, my boldness, how loud I can be and emotional I can be - I see all of that in Tristan. I feel things, I take on people’s emotions, Tristan feels things, he takes on emotions - even at the age of 3. It’s scary yet amazing at the same time and I truly think God designed this way on purpose. Cause sometimes God will tell us something about ourselves and we won’t even believe him so then he’s probably like okay I can show you better than I’m telling you, look at your child right here, right now lol. 😂
Diving a bit deeper, the word talks about seeing ourselves in a mirror, it talks about how our heart can be as a reflection. Furthermore, I also believe other people can be that mirror and reflection too (which is where this particular reflection - haha the play on words in crazy ya’ll, God is good!)
Even in the name of this blog, A Time of Reflection, the verse that God gave me for this, Proverbs 27:19 says:
“As a face is reflected in the water, so the heart reflects the real person.”
I think that just as our heart can truly reveal our posture and our true feelings, it can reveal our hidden motives, and it can reveal the why behind something. In that same breath, I also think our children can reveal those same things. How we choose to speak to our children, how we choose to discipline our children. Is it because they truly need it or are we finding a way to discipline ourselves with our children? Are we fussing at them because we’re internally fussing at ourselves? Seriously, we have to take a different perspective on this and we have to allow God to do a GREAT work within us, even again, by way of people in our lives. Because after all, Philippians 4:16 says:
“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”
I find it not strange that all of these things bubble up to seeing ourselves, revealing what needs to be healed, showing how God truly sees us and how he wants us to live, think, do and so much more. Kids are innocent, they are pure of heart and I think if we found a way to model our kid’s awe, their wonder, and even their reverence for us as parents, we’d see firsthand how that should be the way to operate in our relationship with God, our Father.
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